Pathwork Coaching and Consulting

For several years, I have had my own Coach.  This Coach is available to me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  My Coach never goes on vacation and never misses an appointment.  My Coach has been available to me during moments of celebration, during my darkest fears, and everything in between.  I can tell my Coach anything - and I don't have to filter my words or make my thoughts sound eloquent.  I can whine, scream, have a pity party, be wise or silly, and even downright crude.  My Coach never judges me, never scolds me, and captures the detail of every word, picture, map, thought, and emotion I share.  This Coach is my Journal.

My Journal Journey

For as long as I can remember in my professional life, I have carried a notebook.  It started with a simple, spiral bound book.  As my career and family grew I became very time conscious and wanted to up my organizational skills, so I took a Franklin time management class.  It was so transformative that I became certified to teach time management so I could share my learnings with others.  Now my books were leather bound, organized with tabs, had places for capturing business meetings, family appointments, to do lists, and I kept records of every single meeting I attended.  When I first discovered this level of journaling - my life transformed.  I no longer had to rely on my memory to keep myself on track with promises, commitments, things I should expect from others, things others were expecting of me.  I became a better mom, wife, friend, and a better professional.  There were times when I thought I'd mastered the need to keep this journal and would stop writing.  When I did, I quickly found myself searching for notes, where was that number?, and being late on deliverables.  It didn't take long to get me back on the track.   

At the end of each day, I would sit down with this journal and review the day's events.  What happened?  What did I need to pay attention to tomorrow that I missed today?  What were the emotional undertones?  Where could I feel accomplished?  What was still on my to do list?  This began my practice of self-observation and self-reflection.

Over time, my journal evolved again and with the introduction of technology, I began to rely on Outlook and other online tools to keep my calendar straight and my to do list on track.  But I still felt a need to write - to capture the discussions of meetings.  And so, in keeping with my professional life, I transformed my journal to a beautiful Levenger binder.

When I look back at these pages - yes, I do keep these - I see the people who were important in my life.  Recall our conversations.  And most importantly, I am reminded of how I've, and they've, changed over the years.  Today, my journaling has evolved again beyond maximizing time and business efficiency.

I still keep the beautiful binder for professional meetings.  But I also keep a personal journal.  Beautiful little books that inspire me.  Some of them are beautiful because of their colors, others because of their themes.  Most of all they're the place I go to reflect on the patterns of my life which, of course, is what a good Coach helps us do.

There are many techniques that can be used in journal writing.  One of my favorites is the Julia Cameron approach to Morning Pages.  This journal writing is done first thing in the morning and is four pages of complete stream of consciousness writing.  This is one of the first ways that I began my personal journaling.  Another way that I like to journal are with springboard questions.  I'll look at my thoughts from the day - "that was a stressful meeting", "my husband never listens", or "today was a good day" - and I'll turn those thoughts into a question.  A question might read "how was that meeting stressful?, who was involved and how did you interact with them?, what kinds of emotions or physical reactions was I having that told me this was stressful? and so on".  By asking these questions, I begin to unpack the things that are important to me in a way that helps me make meaning and sense.  Over time, I begin to notice patterns in my life.  And will begin to ask myself questions that help me to explore those patterns.  For instance, I realized a particiular kind of relationship that has been showing up in my life.  Just this week, I realized this kind of relationship shows up in my life every 5-7 years.  And so I begin with the questions - what's happening in my life during those times?  what do these relationships have in common?  and again with the springboard of questions.

I've used my journal to be creative and also have a sketch pad for those occassions when my ideas are not yet formed into words.  If I have a business idea, I'll get out my sketch pad and a bunch of colored pens and begin a mind map.  If I can't find the words for a mind map, I'll doodle or my new favorite - draw mandalas.

Journaling in My Business

I encourage all of my coaching clients to maintain a personal journal, at least while we're working together.  For my clients who take this on, their growth is accelerated!  It doesn't need to take long - 15 minutes a day can begin a lifelong relationship.  It engages the right side of their brain - something that business people often tell me they want to do more of. Why?  Because they recognize their need to be innovative in their business, to be creative amongst their competition, and because the left sides of their need a rest.  The process of journaling creates more objectivity about what's going on in our lives.  There's a great deal of research on adult development that confirms this.  In order to begin to work with a pattern or desired change, we need to move the experience from subjective (it's got me!) to objective (I've got it).  Journaling is a powerful way to develop this level of personal insight and mastery.  And one of my all time favorites - is that journaling gets negative emotions out of our system without causing interpersonal injury.  It's private - for your eyes only.  You can say what you're feeling without repercussions.  (There are many a moment in which I've learned to write in my journal before I write the angry email.  When I do this - the email isn't so angry.  When I don't - I often pay a price I don't like!)

Get Started

It's easy.  Make a commitment to 15 minutes a day or begin by just taking notes in the left margin of your current notebook about your thoughts and emotional reactions to your meetings.  Then come back at the end of the day and see what patterns you might notice about your own life.

"The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds."  R. D. Laing

Have fun!

Terri

Mindfulness meditation is a core practice I've been developing over the past year.  For those of you who may be a little skeptical or think that meditation is phooey, I would offer that there is tremendous science about the physiological and psychological benefits of meditation.  You can also read Jon Kabat-Zinn and the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) work he's done out of the University of Massachusetts.

Mindfulness is about attention - choosing - out of millions of sensory data coming at us every second - where we want to place our attention. If you think this is easy, trying sitting for 10 breath counts and ONLY thinking about the sensation of the in-breath and the out-breath before an intrusive thought occurs.  I can now get to 3 counts before a thought of my to-do list pops in :)  Now ask yourself "how present am I really in my meetings?"

On the days on which I meditate, I find myself more settled, more relaxed, more centered, more grounded, more neutral.  And, this inner state of calmness better allows me to be choiceful in how I engage in the world.

Achieving this inner state of calm is part of my journey.  I have mastered the outer state of calm (well, for the most part).  I've learned how to get up, go through the motions of what needs to be done, do it quickly and well, and keep all the balls in the air.  In the meantime, my heart may have been breaking, or I was angry at the way someone spoke to me, or there was an unexpressed appreciation towards someone.

The benefits that I have experienced when I experience this inner neutrality are clarity of thinking, openness to new and different thinking, reduced defensiveness and need to be right.  I invite you to consider a mindfulness practice for yourself.  Check it out.  Find out what role calming down, being able to hear your own thoughts, and getting in touch with your emotions might offer to you in designing the life you want to create.