I have been thinking lately about the differences between men and women - how they show up in the world, how they come to relationships, and the unique gifts that each has to offer.  I do believe there are differences and similarities and that we each have within us both of these energies.  Men have a feminine side - and women have a masculine side.  But what determines how those characteristics are developed - and what about the ones we hide.  The stoic male who never lets his feelings show?  Or the woman who doesn't believe she has any talents outside of her home and children.

As a female I have noticed how many men are in my life - probably many more than the number of women.  I wonder why?  I'm the oldest of four children - and have all brothers.  I'm a mother of three sons.  Our dog is a male although the two cats are female.  I've spent 20 years of my career on Wall Street - a male dominated industry.  As a member of the baby boomer generation we were told women could have it all.  Remember the commercial - I can bring home the bacon, I can bring home the man....  I don't remember the product but I remember those words.  For some of us though, living in a man's world meant taking on more masculine traits - being tough minded, hiding our feelings, being action oriented.  Does "fitting in" require denying parts of ourselves?  What place is there in the world for our unique feminine gifts?  Our ability to be receptive and open.  To develop deep and lasting relationships.

Carol Pearson poses the question " For women, the issues are, how can they move into what were traditionally male roles without becoming male clones, and how does one retain the deeper values of the female without living to serve others?"  In her book "A Circle of Stones" Judith Duerk suggests that in order to find our own unique rhythm, our wisdom, or our sense of what is uniquely ours to give, we must slow down, take time out, attune ourselves to finding our own process of living and being in the world.

1. What are some of the messages you received as a child about appropriate behavior for your gender?  From your father?  From your mother?  From other relatives?  From school, media, religious institutions, peers?
2. Which of these messages have helped or empowered you?
3. Which have limited you?

One of my favorite quotes by Marianne Williamson:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure 

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? "

With care,

Terri